I Need to Change My Lifestyle for the Better

Lifestyle - "the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group." as referenced on Dictionary.com

It is August 2012 and on December 15th, I will (with God's blessing) reach my 50th birthday. One prayer I've asked for is that I will be actively living a positive lifestyle I have been desiring for such a long, long time. There is one instance in my life where I felt a sense of true bliss in my life and I was living a productive and happy lifestyle. I had no major worries in my life and I was basically able to do the things I desired to do. I was in my mid 20's and I felt content in my life. I had a nice job with a profitable manufacturing company in a prestigous location. I had a new condominium, a new 1988 Mazda MX-6 GT, I had a great circle of friends and I had money in my checking account.

I can remember driving one afternoon on westbound I-64 near Mercury Blvd. and this feeling of satisfaction came over me and I thought "all is good with my life...Thank you Jesus". It was such a pleasurable feeling and sense of confidence that it caused me to smile for the rest of that day. I have not had that degree of feeling since then. I have had many instances of "feel good days" but nothing like that day. Finding and having that feeling again has been my desire for many, many years since.

As I approach fifty years of age, I am probably doing what so many men have done before (middle age syndrome may be the thought of many of you); contemplating their past life's decisions. I am in part doing this, but I have been contemplating my life's decisions for the past 15 or more years. I set goals for myself  (more personal objectives then professional) and I often accomplished them. But as the years came and went, I found my decisions were not as rewarding as I hoped. This was even more the case because my decisions impacted not just me, but my wife and family as well.

Recently I have come to realize that many of my desires in the past were based on my own understandings. I was using good judgment and good intentions, but I did not complete the cycle by praying on my desires and practicing patience. My impatience got the best of me and I have been struggling ever since. My period of bliss occurred because God had alot to do with it. When I started thinking about a family, I set out to have wife before I was thirty. I proposed to my now wife four months after meeting her; eight months later we were married.  Six months later I wanted to have a house and the following year we were having a house built and by a questionable builder. Then I wanted children, then I wanted another house, and then I wanted my own business. In my mind I was doing what a good husband and father was supposed to do. However.

There would be a few more major desires that I could have waited for and I chose not to; research taught me I was a victim of allowing my ego to take charge of my decisions. These decisions of mines resulted in relationship, financial hardship and some loss acquisitions, which lingers on today.  I am living a self imposed stressful lifestyle which is going to take faith and patience to turn around.

My realization to all my readers is my lifestyle will change for the better because I am learning patience and I am learning to allow God to help me make good decisions. If your lifestyle is not where you would like for it to be, then I hope you are able to learn a little something from my past life experiences. My recommedation, pray for the things you desire and allow God to charge of making it happen. It will be the best decision you can make.

Knowing your personality type helps.

I believe it would be quite helpful for people in their early 20's to know his or her individual personality type.

Speaking for myself, if I had known mine, some of the decisions I made back in my early to mid 20's I probably would not have made. I guess it's all about the learning from experience approach.

I've taken the Myer's - Brigg's personality assessment a few times and each time I've been categorized as an "ESTJ" personality type or similar. It's comforting to know that all the professional positions I have held over the years lend well to this personality type. However, these past 15 or so years, I did not fully comprehend the worth of knowing my type and taking advantage of it.

If I had fully appreciated knowing what being an ESTJ meant, I would have focused on the strengths of this "type" and utilized this knowledge to benefit my profession and my personal relationships better. I would have pursued my interest in psychology much sooner then I did. I would have paid better attention to what personality types I was compatible with.

But guess what? I'm practicing that I can't dwell on what could have been and to focus instead on what I can do for my future. I am fully aware of  what my personality is now and I will take one day at a time to pursue a more fulfilling lifestyle. I challenge you to do the same.

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Matthew 21:22 - And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

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Put on your "oxygen mask"!

If you have ever flown on an airplane as a passenger, you witnessed the "in case of emergency" briefing by the flight attendants. Within the safety briefing, the flight attendant states "… in case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will deploy from above. if you are traveling with a child, place the mask on you first then assist the child with theirs...". Why? Because you must be conscious, alert and capable of providing the care needed for your child. If you placed the oxygen mask on the child first, you may black out during the emergency and be unable to assist.

This same logic is just as valid when it comes to supporting others throughout your life. The moral of this passage is, if you provide life support for yourself first, you will be in a better position to provide for others. This is not being selfish, it's being thoughtful.

I am a man, a Christian, a husband and a father. My current lifestyle on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being almost perfect, is a 4.5. My reason for my choice is I feel unappreciated and unfulfilled. My rating would be even lower if it weren't for my faith in God. My Lord has blessed me with all that I do have and He continues to provide for me on a daily basis. However, I am not living a harmoneous lifestyle because I have neglected to place "my oxygen mask" on first.

I have fallen victim to self pity for two reasons: first - my family  (a wife and three teenage daughters) don't exhibit appreciation for all that I provide and do. I routinely express my appreciation for things they do, but it seems to have no effect on them reciprocating the same. Secondly - I have made some poor choices in the past. I desired to provide more for my wife and family and did not practice patience and prayer.

I have created this blog for two reasons: first to help me put on "my oxygen mask" and secondly to provide a forum to help other men who need to do the same. 

The first step to improving my lifestyle rating is be accountable for all decisions I have made. For every decision (good or bad), I must take responsibility for them. For at the time the decision was made, it was done based on whatever information was known at that time. Granted I may have or may not have taken due diligence to make the best decision possible. One sure thing is for any bad decision I made, I can't go back in time and fix it. The only thing I can do is learn from it and apply what I've learned to future decisions.


The next step is to keep God first in my life. I'm a Baptist Christian and this is my teaching and my faith. I believe and trust this is the same teaching in all faith based religions and I encourage you, my reader, to do the same. I've come to realize that I did not do a good job in the beginning of my life as a fiance, husband and father in keeping God first and now I'm experiencing the negative effects of that. I compromised my values and now it is a struggle for me within my family and my marriage. A typical reaction in a case like this is to give up and leave (in some cases this is the best decision). The more challenging and potentially rewarding approach is to trust in God and allow Thee to fix it. 

Thirdly, meditate and identify my "oxygen mask". This is taking me considerably longer then I could have imagined. I have always been challenged with recognizing my true talent or life calling. However, I have always known I've enjoyed helping others with finding their own success. I have now embraced this passion and I am actively pursuing it. I have consulted with a life coach and I have done extensive research on passion identification. My struggle has been with a touch of anxiety - that I am tackling head on now.

I challenge you to identify your life calling and actively pursue it too. I will use this blog to keep my followers updated on my progress.

Fourthly, take one day at a time. Each coming day, accomplish something that is an investment in the pursuit of your talent or your life calling. I'm trusting as I get more active with my passion of helping others, my lifestyle rating will steadily increase.

To God be the glory! 

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